Robin Party
by hawkstout
Summary: Summary: As thanks for 100 followers on Tumblr we have drunken, cuddling, honest, Robins with clingy, weepy drunk Dick who gets happier eventually and suggests Karaoke. The Robins gather and complain about the reboot, then get drunk.


**Summary:** As thanks for 100 followers on Tumblr we have drunken, cuddling, honest, Robins with clingy, weepy drunk Dick who gets happier eventually and suggests Karaoke. Thank you my followers! The Robins gather and complain about the reboot, then get drunk. **Characters:** Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Tim Drake, Stephanie Brown, Damian Wayne **Genre:** Humour **Warnings:** A bit meta.

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**Robin Party**

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"This is lame."

"Jason do you always have to be the negative one? Every time? Really?" Dick said waspishly. The five of them were sitting on Dick's couches sipping fruit punch.

"He's sort of right though Dick," Tim said slowly. He didn't want to dampen Dick's spirits any more than they already were, but… well.

They were dressed in costume sitting in Dick's messing living room drinking punch and the pizza was all gone. It _was_ lame.

Dick's face fell and Tim internally winced.

"You always take Jason's side now since the reboot happened."

"I do not…" Tim said slowly, yeah, he did hang out with Jason a lot, but he had to take what panel time he could get! "At least you have your own comic," He pointed out.

"At least all your friends are still around," Dick countered.

"At least you're not dead," Damian grumbled.

"At least you existed," Stephanie crossed her arms.

Damian stared at her for a long moment.

"Who are you again?"

"You little brat!"

"Point is, if you wanted this to be a cheerful occasion Dickie-bird you kinda failed," Jason finished.

"Says the guy that's come out of this reboot thing the best," Damian said in irritation.

"What are you talking about bat-brat?"

"No, Damian's right," Dick said.

"Yeah," Tim nodded.

"Yep," Stephanie agreed, "Look at it this way Jason. You're not seen as a bad guy anymore, you're fighting and killing socially acceptable things to fight and kill (as far as I know). You're not as bitter as you used to be, you have a good relationship with at least one of your brothers, and you have friends."

"I had friends before!" Jason protested.

"Who?" The other Robins asked.

"… uh… shut up." Jason went to get more punch. He pulled out a flask and poured more of its contents in. He had been doing it all through the night, but hell.

"Then again maybe Tim's got it the best this year," Steph mused.

"How do you figure that?" Tim asked, "Awful things have happened to me—not to mention I'm not even the same person that I used to be. I'm like Bruce-lite now."

"I know the feeling, trust me. Jason, pass more punch!" Dick called.

"Sure, sure." Jason smirked filling up a cup to the brim. Dick's a lightweight. He'd be gone before he reached the bottom. The effects from his previous two cups should already be starting to take effect.

"My last name isn't even my last name anymore!"

"Yeah, but you're like the only one of us that hasn't died."

"Dick hasn't died!"

"No, Damian kills him in that Alternate Universe."

Both Dick and Damian snickered, then glanced at each other.

"Don't you feel bad for killing Dick?" Stephanie asked.

"I didn't kill him," Damian pointed out, "Besides, alternate Damian suffers enough with that fashion sense and haircut."

Dick giggled.

Jason smirked handing Dick the punch.

"So you're the only one left standing," Stephanie finished. Tim crossed his arms.

"Okay, yeah, but I got turned into the Joker in an alternate reality future that's maybe actually the future. That has to count for something."

"…Yeah…" They all agreed looking slightly disturbed because seriously, gahhhhh.

"I got killed by him."

"We know," They all rolled their eyes at Jason. Jason frowned.

"Hey!"

"You never stop talking about it," Tim said.

"To the point where you took on _his_ mantle," Dick agreed.

"Joker killed me, boo hoo, Batman, why don't you kill the Joker? Waaah," Damian mocked, "Poor baby. You got better, get over it. My own mother is the reason I'm dead. Top that."

"Your mom? I did." Jason grinned evilly. Damian pulled out one of Dick's escrima sticks off hisNightwing suit and bashed Jason's knee with it.

"Shit! You little brat!"

"Guys, guys, guys." Dick suddenly had an arm around both their shoulders. "Guys. The important thing is that there are other universes where we are all together and happy and birds."

"What?" Tim asked incredulously.

"Like, real birds. Where we get to fly and stuff. Haven't you ever thought of that Timmy?" Dick asked excitedly. He leaned towards Tim and Steph pushing Jason and Damian forward as well. "That can fly."

"Are you drunk—Jason!" Tim exclaimed. He sniffed at his own punch. Wow, how had he not noticed?

"Sorry Replacement, a plot device is a plot device," Jason grinned. He took out his flask and drained it. Dick can't have all the fun.

"Some detective you are, Drake," Damian sniffed. He had noticed from the start and had been drinking water all night.

Tim shrugged and took a pull of his spiked punch. Anything was better than the doom and gloom that had been going around.

"We can fly and stuff and be happy just flying and there's no weird reboots or dead friends or non-existent people. We just build a nest and cuddle." Dick babbled. He pulled Jason and Damian into a hug snuggling against them. The two younger Robins tried to escape, but apparently Dick was still pretty strong when he was drunk. "And I'm still blue," he added wistfully.

Jason snickered, "Yeah, you ain't a Bluebird no more, what's with that?"

"I don't even know," Dick complained, "I guess so I fit in better for cover shots with you guys? I mean you guys are all obsessed with red. Red Hood, Red Robin, Red Bird, Eggplant Bat."

"That's not…" Stephanie shook her head and took a long gulp of her drink. "Never mind." He had obviously lost his train of thought.

"But you're being drawn sexy again," Tim said without thinking. The other Robins stared at him for a moment. He blushed. Shit, the punch was getting to him too.

"Yeah, the lack of acrobatic ass shots was disturbing," Jason added breaking what little tension there was with half the Robins drunk and the other half on their way (save for Damian).

"I know, right?" Dick pulled at his new uniform. It was too tight to be pulling at so it accidently unzipped a bit at the front. No one complained. "I like the hip stripes. Hip stripes AND finger stripes. It makes me feel so sexy."

Damian rolled his eyes at all the 'adults.' "Stop preening, Grayson."

"Dami." Suddenly Grayson's arms were wrapped around him. Damian growled in annoyance.

"You're so sassy, I love it," Grayson rubbed his cheek against Damian affectionately.

Stephanie snickered at Damian's predicament. Damian rolled his eyes. He tolerated Dick's manhandling. Steph knew for a fact Damian liked Dick's hugs. It wasn't even because he didn't get enough hugs. Talia al Ghul was always showing her affection on him (before she got him killed). Heck, even Batman broke the 'no hugs, only justice' rule for Damian, but she knew the youngest Robin felt safest with Dick, it was so sweet.

And then Dick started sobbing.

Stephanie winced. Okay wow, so this was why Dick never drank.

"You were so young!"

"There there," Damian patted him with a neutral expression apparently used to emotional outburts.

"Oh, come on Dickie-bird don't cry," Jason tried to pry Dick's arms off Robin. Dick ended up clinging to him instead. "Oh jeez…"

"Lemme tell you something Tim, lemme just say this," Dick said between sobs. "Even though you didn't like him he's a good boy. He's your baby brother. Love your baby brother Tim!"

"I'm Jason, we don't look that much alike…"

"It was easier when you had the white streak… or the red hair," Steph cleared her throat. Quite frankly she mixed the boys up in picture all the time. So many instances where she had complimented Bruce on a picture of Tim when it was actually younger Dick.

Tim reluctantly approached his blubbering older brother. Tim's cheek were red from the alcohol. He was a bit tipsy himself.

"Timmy, seriously this is important, I really have to say—"

"Still Jason." Jason hefted Dick in his arms and sat back down. Dick straddled him wrapped his arms around his neck burying his head in Jason's shoulder.

"You're lucky I'm a chivalrous guy, Dickie-bird."

"After getting him drunk…" Steph raised a skeptical eyebrow. Jason's hand slid down, but he seemed to think better of it.

"Tim, Tim, Tim, Tim, Tim," Dick repeated voice muffled by his shoulder.

Tim moved to sit beside Jason. He patted Dick's back.

"I'm here Dick." Dick shifted in Jason's arms looking curiously at Tim. He had tears in his eyes sniffing cutely (no, bad Tim). He leaned half towards Tim pulling him so that he was squished into Jason.

"Jason, Tim can't be drinking, he's a teenager now, he's not an adult anymore," Dick said with a serious look on his face.

"I'm Tim," Tim said.

"Timmy!" Dick said cheerfully pinching the younger man's (teen's?) cheeks.

"Ow, ow, ow."

Steph had broken out the camera phone. Barbara would flip if there was no photo evidence.

"Stephanie!" Dick narrowed in on her. Oh dear. "Steph, join us! Join us on the couch. Who says we exclude? We don't exclude—except Jason, sometimes we exclude Jason, but sometimes Jason's a tool. You're nice."

There wasn't much room. It was a three person couch. Jason, Tim and Damian sat with Dick lying over the older boys.

"There's no space for me—" She began. Dick rolled over onto Tim and grabbed Damian then pulled him back so the youngest Robin was wrapped in his arms like an angry teddy bear.

Steph shrugged. She took Damian's now empty seat and used Tim's shoulder as a rest for her elbow. Dick's legs stretched out over her lap so that he was sprawled over all three of them. Damian growled something about revenge against Jason. Dick couldn't have been more content at the robin pile.

"This is nice… it's like a nest." Dick nestled against Jason's chest. Jason patted his head.

"Yeah, it's exactly like that," he said. He actually sounded convinced of it. Seemed he was getting there too. Tim was actually quite comfy in the midst of his fellow robins. His face was cherry red, but he wasn't as far gone as Dick. It would be nice to take a nap though, Jason and Steph were awfully comfy. Steph was in a fit of giggles now. She had the perfect picture of Damian with his arms crossed and the most affronted look on his face at being snuggled.

"I really am the only responsible one among you morons aren't I?" the little boy blustered.

"I just had the best idea," Dick suddenly chirped.

"Lay it on us," Jason said with drunken enthusiasm.

"We put on robin costumes, like our old ones, and we go sing Karaoke. It'll be so much fun!"

"That's the best idea ever," Tim declared suddenly more awake.

"No, no way, I ain't wearing the scaly panties again," Jason interjected.

"But you looked cute in my old uniform," Dick pouted.

"I'd like to point out calling them panties is misleading," Tim grumbled, "It's a leotard, the red vest covered it, but it's a leotard, not panties. I was really disappointed about that you know. I always wondered how you both managed to flip around without worrying about them falling off, I practiced."

It took a few seconds for Tim to replay what he had just said in his head. Damn it, why he was such an honest drunk!?

"You know, that kinda explains your fighting style," Jason mused, "Like, you're always covering your ass—so to speak."

Steph had her phone set to record now. Dick almost fell to the floor giggling. Damian had struggled away and was now perched on the back of the couch shaking his head at them all.

"But listen! If we go to Karaoke and dress as Robins we could sing _Rockin' Robin_ and that would be so adorable you guys!" Dick pressed.

"I'm out, I've heard Tim sing Karaoke. He's horrible, my ears can only take so much," Steph said bluntly. Tim pouted.

"You said I'm a great singer!"

"Oh honey, I was lying through my teeth."

"You're drunk!" Tim accused drunkenly.

"Who isn't?" she pointed out.

Damian raised his hand and an eyebrow. The older robins broke into peels of laughter.

"**Bird, bird, bird. Bird is the word. B-b-b-bird bird bird, bird is the word,**" Jason sung with quite a bit of gusto.

"That's not _Rockin' Robin_," Dick accused.

"Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh," Jason said.

"No, no, no, guys," Steph said excitedly, "**Is this the real life?**"  
"**Is this a fantasy?**" Jason joined in.  
"**Caught in a Batcave,**" Dick added.  
"**No escape from stupidity.**" Damian grumbled.  
"**Slide on your mask, get up to the task and seeeeeeeee**." Steph was really into it now.  
"**I'm ****_just_**** a Robin! I **need** no sympathy.**"

They all stopped. Tim blinked.

"What?"

"Holy tone deaf, Batgirl!" Dick cried.

"Told ya," Steph shrugged.

"Man you really are terrible aren't you?" Jason chuckled ruffling Tim's hair.

"Easy come, easy go," Tim shrugged.

"And with that we're leaving," Damian hopped off the couch, "Okay morons two through four, get a move on."

"But you can't drink and drive!" Dick sounded scandalized at the thought.

"**I** haven't been drinking," Damian pointed out.

"You don't have a licence," Jason pointed out as he slowly untangled himself from Dick and Tim.

"I built a flying Batmobile, you don't think I can drive Brown's sub-par piece of junk?"

"Hey!"

"We'll see you next year Grayson," Damian said pushing the drunken former Robins towards the door. "Who knows, maybe I'll be alive by then."

"And I'll have my own comic!" Tim said optimistically, "No more time sharing!"

"Yeah, and I'll get over my Daddy issues," Jason added sarcastically.

"Hey, maybe I'll exist," Stephanie laughed.

"And I'll be blue!" Dick finished with a huge grin.

"Weren't we supposed to do something?" Jason blinked. It really seemed like they were supposed to do something.

"We were supposed to thank some followers," Steph said.

"We should leave it to Drake then, he knows all about stalking," Damian stated bluntly.

"Tim's asleep though," Dick pointed out. Tim was hanging off Jason's shoulders snoring gently. "I guess I'll do it." He grinned. "Thank you!—" He looked down at a crumpled piece of paper, "Tumblr?"

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The End


End file.
